Search Results for “#humor”

Page 10 of 17

Risk is wearing Apple EarPods while urinating standing up.

#Apple #humor

Jan 11, 2017

I came up with a term for that hairspray helmet elderly women sometimes have: geriatric topiary.

#pedantry #humor

Jan 8, 2017

iOS autocorrects “ewok” to “WWII”. Where do I begin…

#Apple #iOS #humor

Dec 22, 2016

I wish these political surrogates would just tell us the fact of the matter or the truth or the reality of the situation.

#political #tv #humor

Oct 22, 2016

#Trump #MAGA #humor

Oct 19, 2016

#Trump #MAGA #humor

Oct 18, 2016

#Trump #MAGA #humor

Oct 18, 2016

Eat a chocolate chip cookie before you brush your teeth. It’s like brushing with Junior Mints.

#YOUREWELCOME #humor

Sep 26, 2016

“You need a root canal. Why not do it yourself?” (if Wix was a dental office).

#tech #humor

Sep 21, 2016

You can’t hedge on this. It’s either jimmies OR sprinkles.

#ItsJimmies #humor #pedantry

Sep 2, 2016

How do you shop from the comfort of your own home if your home isn’t very comfortable?

#pedantry #humor

Aug 27, 2016

Really thankful right now for cats that eat other cats’ vomit.

#cats #family #humor

Aug 26, 2016

#MAGA #Trump #humor

Aug 25, 2016

The ancient Half-Dog is now extinct for obvious reasons.

#science #humor

Aug 18, 2016

Art print by Janet Van Asshole?

#pedantry #humor

Aug 18, 2016

On the highway wife asks me what exactly they do at weigh stations. I told her they make sure trucks have enough curds.

#pedantry #humor

Aug 17, 2016

This is Billy the Chantix guy. Be nice to Billy. In a few years he’ll help us defeat aliens.

#tv #humor

Aug 16, 2016

My wife added a lime to her water and inadvertently made homeopathic Corona.

#humor

Aug 12, 2016

I hope that #Trump's intelligence briefings are actually briefings about how to be intelligent.

#pedantry #humor

Aug 2, 2016

Seriously, I think “The Situation” should really have a room on CNN.

#pedantry #tv #humor

Jul 25, 2016

I told my wife, “Look, if you play with my Poké balls you’re going to get a Squirtle.”

#tech #humor

Jul 13, 2016

Recommendation for Discovery Network: change “Shark Week” to “Shart Week” and watch the ratings go through the roof.

#YOUREWELCOME #tv #humor

Jul 7, 2016

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