Mando whole body deodorant is for pits, privates, and beyond. So what’s beyond privates?

#humor

It seems like Big Mentor owns the prime time ad slot. I’m not sure what to think about this. I need to ask my mentor.

#humor

A great name for a dog is Doglass, because you can call him Dog for short.

#humor

whereas (wair-ass) — noun — a human-ass hybrid transformation that occurs in rectalthropes when the moon is full (see rectalthropy).

#humor

A foreskin implies the existence of an aftskin.

#humor #pedantry

#meme #humor

Go ahead. Ask the question.

#humor #meme

Never shopping at this store.

#meme #humor

Now THIS is a Christmas I can get behind.

#humor #meme

Using AI is like asking a teenager to do something they don't want to do. They use the most pedantic interpretation of your request to both avoid doing the work and to piss you off.

#tech #humor

My signature fragrance is called Elon Musk. It smells like baby powder and arrogance, with abandoned fart undertones.

#humor

Find joy where you can.

#humor #meme

If you’re going to get phished you might as well have fun with it.

#humor #meme

According to my TV I’m gay and need to masturbate while watching a couple guys renovate a kitchen.

#humor #meme

One of the last coal powered sheep. Most today are electric.

#humor #meme

There should be an app named Spots: dating for shingles.

#humor

My wife just received a $41 gift card from the Jewel vape class action lawsuit, which she will ironically use to purchase cigarettes.

#humor

But you have to insert like 3 of them.

#humor #meme

Remember when #Trump sent everyone $1,200 stimulus checks and had his signature put on them even though it was funded with our taxes? Yeah let’s not vote for that guy.

#humor

The Waffle House is great, but I’d rather be in a Waffle Home.

#humor

If it weren’t for tight kerning I wouldn’t be able to use provocative “dick here” links.

#humor

What do I need to do to get our #cats to provide valuable services?

#humor

I knew this job was dangerous but…

#humor #meme

Why is it OK for cats to run around the house naked but if I do it everyone gets “offended”?

#humor #cats #observation

A friend said that he didn’t understand cloning. I said “that makes two of us.”

#humor