I wonder if there’s an alternate universe where carnitarians eat their meats combined and formed into tiny shapes that look and taste like vegetables.

#humor

When you see “5Ge” on your AT&T Wireless phone it’s really just 4G. It would be nice if carriers didn’t lie to us in order to compete with each other.

#tech

According to this billboard the wedding of my dreams involves a #Windows Vista device activation dialog.

#humor

Surprisingly the chairs at The Melting Pot remain solid throughout the entire meal.

#humor

Watching a commercial for that digital exercise mirror and I realized that all it really has to do is show you a picture of someone good-looking.

#tech #opinion #humor

“Dad, if a bra is called an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, why aren’t men’s underwear called an under-the-butt-nut-hut?”

— Our 12-year-old

#family #humor #chloe

Can you imagine having to work this way because your MacBook keyboard is so uncomfortable? #Apple it’s time for a new MBP keyboard.

#tech #Mac #opinion

If you look closely that coffee cup on Game of Thrones was actually from Starkbucks.

#tv #humor

George R. R. Martin wrote: “Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”

To which I ask “what if you’re an asshole?”

#tv #humor

“Curiosity Stream” is when your urine isn't yellow.

#humor

I think that anti-vaxxers are really people who never got over their fear of needles.

#humor

Really disappointed that the movie Mary Queen of Scots didn’t have a post-credits scene.

#movies #humor

More proof that the general public has no idea what programmers do.

#pedantry #tech #humor

I’m totally rocking the quinquagenarian lifestyle.

#pedantry #humor

Last night I got charged by a growling raccoon. I’m married with kids. So I was ready.

#family #humor

This #SuperBowl is like watching erectile dysfunction porn.

#sports #humor

While reading tech articles I just saw an article titled “backend as a service”. Is that even legal?

#tech #humor

YES!!1! YES YES YES!!1!!

Microsoft is building a Chromium-powered web browser that will replace Edge on Windows 10

m.windowscentral.com

#Windows #tech

“A man who has to be chained to his bed has problems.”

Excerpt From Belgarath the Sorcerer by David Eddings

#humor #wisdom

Want to use the terminal music player CMUS on your #Mac? Use Homebrew with the following bash commands:

brew install ffmpeg
brew install cmus --HEAD --with-ffmpeg

#Apple #tech #recommendation

For whatever reason I wasn’t an Alice In Chains fan until they reformed with William DuVall. That said, they’re now one of my favorite bands. And the new album “Rainier Fog” could be one of the best rock albums I’ve ever heard.

#music #recommendation

If you’re trying to sound authoritative and you say “tape” or “taping” when you mean “recording”, you’ve already lost us. No one is recording on tape.

#tv #pedantry

Hey Applebees do riblets come from piglets?

#humor

Technically speaking, if you say that you’re speechless, you’re not.

#pedantry

“The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”

— Harlan Ellison

#humor