Technically, we already live on “The Planet of the Apes”. We are apes. Chimps, bonobos, & gorillas are our cousins. They, too, are apes.

#pedantry #atheism #science

I’m going to ruin two things for you: #StarWars and #Christmas.

The Star Wars Holiday Special (Complete Movie)

youtu.be

#YOUREWELCOME

The more I use other languages & web dev platforms, the more I appreciate the power and reliability of C# and .NET.

ASP.NET Core, an open-source web development framework | .NET

asp.net

#code #dotnet #tech #csharp

The W1 chip doesn’t make the connection more reliable. Use of class 1 Bluetooth does; 10x the distance and interference resistance.

#Apple #tech

I wish these political surrogates would just tell us the fact of the matter or the truth or the reality of the situation.

#political #tv #humor

Eat a chocolate chip cookie before you brush your teeth. It’s like brushing with Junior Mints.

#YOUREWELCOME #humor

“You need a root canal. Why not do it yourself?” (if Wix was a dental office).

#tech #humor

Irony: the new water resistant #Apple #iPhone 7 has a warranty that doesn’t cover liquid damage.

You can’t hedge on this. It’s either jimmies OR sprinkles.

#ItsJimmies #humor #pedantry

Let's hope this is a trend.

#opinion

How do you shop from the comfort of your own home if your home isn’t very comfortable?

#pedantry #humor

Really thankful right now for cats that eat other cats’ vomit.

#cats #family #humor

The ancient Half-Dog is now extinct for obvious reasons.

#science #humor

Art print by Janet Van Asshole?

#pedantry #humor

On the highway wife asks me what exactly they do at weigh stations. I told her they make sure trucks have enough curds.

#pedantry #humor

This is Billy the Chantix guy. Be nice to Billy. In a few years he’ll help us defeat aliens.

#tv #humor

Someone told me that there are a lot of dicks in Johnsonville, TN.

#DickJokes #humor #pedantry

My wife added a lime to her water and inadvertently made homeopathic Corona.

#humor

Yellow jackets are wasps not bees. They eat nectar. They feed insects, meat, and fish to their larvae.

#pedantry #science

How can Blackberry claim their DTEK 50 phone is the most secure when it’s not on the market yet? Security claims require time.

#tech #security #opinion

Seriously, I think “The Situation” should really have a room on CNN.

#pedantry #tv #humor

NBC Universal passes on sales losses from BitTorrent piracy to legit consumers. Higher prices. Yeah, that’ll encourage people to buy movies.

#tech #opinion

I told my wife, “Look, if you play with my Poké balls you’re going to get a Squirtle.”

#tech #humor

Recommendation for Discovery Network: change “Shark Week” to “Shart Week” and watch the ratings go through the roof.

#YOUREWELCOME #tv #humor

I just turned on screen scaling on my iPhone. Yet another confirmation that I’m old.

#humor