How do you shop from the comfort of your own home if your home isn’t very comfortable?

#pedantry #humor

Really thankful right now for cats that eat other cats’ vomit.

#cats #family #humor

The ancient Half-Dog is now extinct for obvious reasons.

#science #humor

Art print by Janet Van Asshole?

#pedantry #humor

On the highway wife asks me what exactly they do at weigh stations. I told her they make sure trucks have enough curds.

#pedantry #humor

This is Billy the Chantix guy. Be nice to Billy. In a few years he’ll help us defeat aliens.

#tv #humor

Someone told me that there are a lot of dicks in Johnsonville, TN.

#DickJokes #humor #pedantry

My wife added a lime to her water and inadvertently made homeopathic Corona.

#humor

Yellow jackets are wasps not bees. They eat nectar. They feed insects, meat, and fish to their larvae.

#pedantry #science

How can Blackberry claim their DTEK 50 phone is the most secure when it’s not on the market yet? Security claims require time.

#tech #security #opinion

Seriously, I think “The Situation” should really have a room on CNN.

#pedantry #tv #humor

NBC Universal passes on sales losses from BitTorrent piracy to legit consumers. Higher prices. Yeah, that’ll encourage people to buy movies.

#tech #opinion

I told my wife, “Look, if you play with my Poké balls you’re going to get a Squirtle.”

#tech #humor

Recommendation for Discovery Network: change “Shark Week” to “Shart Week” and watch the ratings go through the roof.

#YOUREWELCOME #tv #humor

I just turned on screen scaling on my iPhone. Yet another confirmation that I’m old.

#humor

Hey Lumber Liquidators what the hell does someone do with liquid wood?

#pedantry #humor

San Bernadino DA says seized iPhone may hold “dormant cyber pathogen”. I'm sure he doesn't even know what that means.

San Bernardino DA says seized iPhone may hold “dormant cyber pathogen” [Update]

bit.ly

#tech #security

I live in NJ. Trust me. The only thing Chris Christie is going to save us from is leftovers.

#GOP #humor

#GOP demagoguery about Planned Parenthood selling body parts actually a conspiracy by anti-abortionists? Go figure.

#GOP #politics #Roe

Get this iOS game. It’s great! Android and desktop versions too: Auralux Constellations by War Drum Studios LLC.

‎Auralux: Constellations

apps.apple.com

#software #game #recommendation

Wasn’t Pumpkin Spice the fat one?

#SpiceGirls #humor

10th wedding anniversary dinner. #Apple Watch told me it was time to stand. I totally did.

#family #humor

Taco Bell, I don’t think that’s how it works. Hanging a sign over the soda machine doesn’t make it a Tiki Bar.

#pedantry #humor

Using Photoshop I totally solved the whole Starbucks #WarOnChristmas red cup thing.

#atheism #politics #humor

Notice anything odd about the CAPTCHA choices?

#humor