Browsing Posts / Page 23 of 30

Our 7-year-old: “I like tulips.”

Me: “I like 3 lips.”

Our 7-year-old: “ugh. I just got Michaeled didn't I?”

#family #humor #chloe

Apr 4, 2014

When my cat meows for me to come out of the bathroom, I yell that I'm “using the litter box” like she'll understand that better.

#cats #humor

Mar 29, 2014

Hey CNN you shouldn't return from every single commercial break with a “Breaking News” segue. Repeated conjecture is not breaking news.

#tv #pedantry

Mar 27, 2014

Ironically, though children have better hearing than adults, they don't understand nearly as much of what they hear.

#philosophy

Mar 8, 2014

“Daddy, when I wake up in the morning my breath smells like a butt's butt.”

— Our 7-year-old

#family #humor #chloe

Mar 8, 2014

Roku adds “Streaming Stick” to its device lineup. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

#tech #pedantry #humor

Mar 5, 2014

“Daddy, your head is the shape of Mount Baldy.”

— Our 7-year-old

#family #humor #chloe

Feb 28, 2014

“Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence.”

— Napoleon Bonaparte

#philosophy

Feb 23, 2014

I am not a hipster. I am merely enstubbled.

#pedantry #humor

Feb 18, 2014

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Bullshit. You never listen to U2.”

“Ugh.”

#family #humor #wife

Feb 16, 2014

Sweet Jesus! It's precipitating unflavored Slurpee!

#science #humor

Feb 8, 2014

Funny, Ham debunks scientific dating techniques but is happy to use them to prove how old the original Bible documents are.

#creationdebate #atheism

Feb 6, 2014

At Thanksgiving I prefer to bake stuffing in a dish because it's a pain in the butt to get the turkey to eat all that stuffing.

#food #humor

Jan 16, 2014

Why the hell does my #wife's shopping list include “cat glitter”?

#family #humor

Jan 14, 2014

“Daddy, while you make that sandwich, let's play a game. I'll ask you if something is legal or not legal.”

— Our 7-year-old

#family #humor #chloe

Dec 26, 2013

My 7yo says inanimate objects inherit the gender of their owners. By extension, they can get married. Even children understand equal rights.

#family #philosophy #chloe

Dec 22, 2013

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