Browsing Posts / Page 24 of 30

Why can we purchase bullets but not highly potent sedatives? Wouldn't a dart gun be better than a real one for home protection?

#opinion

Nov 22, 2013

If I see one more person write “Barns and Nobles” I’m going to lose it. It’s book store not an aristocratic farm supply company.

#pedantry

Nov 21, 2013

Remember that one cannot learn without making mistakes. Make sure your children are aware of this fact.

#philosophy

Nov 17, 2013

“Woman killed in cougar attack” Maybe she should have dated men her own age.

#pedantry #humor

Nov 12, 2013

I find it troubling that one of the largest dinosaurs to ever walk the earth is named Argentinosaurus.

#science #humor

Nov 5, 2013

Fall is here, along with pumpkin and spice grades of gasoline.

#humor

Oct 16, 2013

There's nothing quite like the feeling you get when your 7-year-old is crying for joy because you got picked to chaperone her class trip.

#family #chloe

Oct 10, 2013

National Geographic photographer Jim Richardson endorses #iPhone camera. I expect #Samsung will now get a Playboy photographer endorsement.

#tech #humor

Oct 8, 2013

Trying to understand why Lady Gaga wanted to be “free to express herself” with her new album when she's already worn a gown made of meat.

#music #humor

Sep 29, 2013

Us: “Chloe, we missed you today! You were gone all day on your first day of first grade!”

Chloe: “You’ll get used to it.”

#family #humor #chloe

Sep 6, 2013

I'm a better inadvertent gardener than a deliberate one.

#family #humor

Sep 6, 2013

Me: “Why aren’t one-piece bikinis called unikinis?”

Wife: “They’re named after a place.”

#JokeRuined #family #humor #wife

Aug 22, 2013

Face it, cable companies: you will be nothing more than ISPs. And that’s okay.

#tech #prediction

Jul 27, 2013

My wife saw a shooting star and the first thing I thought was “Am I the only one without a gun?”

#pedantry #humor

Jul 26, 2013

A great part of parenting children 7 and younger: you can tell them to act their shoe size and not their age.

#family #humor

Jul 22, 2013

Locking yourself out of the house is the best way to find out that you were never meant to be a burglar.

#family #humor

Jul 14, 2013

My undercover video from deep within the bowels of an energy drink testing facility…

moby.to

moby.to

#family #humor

Jul 6, 2013

“If I give you $20 can I have a crush?”

— Our 6-year-old

#family #humor #chloe

Jul 5, 2013

“I can put it in. I’m old enough to screw.”

— Our 6-year-old

(petitioning me to let her install a battery into a clock radio.)

#family #humor #chloe

Jul 2, 2013

Overheard: “No, Chloe, it’s the PEANUT Gallery, not the PENIS Gallery.”

#family #humor #chloe

Jun 30, 2013

“UN Team investigating chemical weapons in Syria arrives in Turkey.” They must have used #Apple Maps.

#tech #humor

Jun 29, 2013

Product idea: “Silly Catheter”.

#humor

Jun 18, 2013

“Can you find me a potion to turn me into a princess?”

— Our 6-year-old

#family #humor #chloe

Jun 10, 2013

Estée Lauder and Calvin Klein have great makeup sex.

#pedantry #humor

Jun 6, 2013

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