When #Apple #iOS autocorrect changes “assume” to “ass you me both” it reminds me that I am so not worried about a robot apocalypse.

#humor #pedantry

I just read a tech article with only one period. Every other sentence ended with an exclamation point. Now I hate enthusiasm. Thanks Internet.

#pedantry #tech #humor

More proof that the general public has no idea what programmers do.

#pedantry #tech #humor

I’m totally rocking the quinquagenarian lifestyle.

#pedantry #humor

So if it’s a “Russia Witch Hunt Hoax”, does that mean it’s not a witch hunt?

#trump #pedantry #humor

If you’re trying to sound authoritative and you say “tape” or “taping” when you mean “recording”, you’ve already lost us. No one is recording on tape.

#tv #pedantry

Technically speaking, if you say that you’re speechless, you’re not.

#pedantry

Podiatric dentistry is WAY more interesting that pediatric dentistry.

#pedantry #humor

Anatomically correct unicorn.

#pedantry #humor

For the record, I’m all about the Oxford comma.

Lack of Oxford Comma Could Cost Maine Company Millions in Overtime Dispute (Published 2017)

www.nytimes.com

#pedantry

Asked wife what I should bring home from store. iOS spell correct reminded me of the BIG difference between “fruit cups” and “fruit cops”.

#pedantry #humor #Apple #iOS

I came up with a term for that hairspray helmet elderly women sometimes have: geriatric topiary.

#pedantry #humor

Your car is not, and does not, look like a reindeer.

#opinion #humor #pedantry

So much hoopla about athletes sitting out anthem. Why do we even sing the anthem at games? We don’t sing it before a movie. Non sequitur.

#pedantry #opinion

Technically, we already live on “The Planet of the Apes”. We are apes. Chimps, bonobos, & gorillas are our cousins. They, too, are apes.

#pedantry #atheism #science

You can’t hedge on this. It’s either jimmies OR sprinkles.

#ItsJimmies #humor #pedantry

How do you shop from the comfort of your own home if your home isn’t very comfortable?

#pedantry #humor

Art print by Janet Van Asshole?

#pedantry #humor

On the highway wife asks me what exactly they do at weigh stations. I told her they make sure trucks have enough curds.

#pedantry #humor

Someone told me that there are a lot of dicks in Johnsonville, TN.

#DickJokes #humor #pedantry

Yellow jackets are wasps not bees. They eat nectar. They feed insects, meat, and fish to their larvae.

#pedantry #science

I hope that #Trump's intelligence briefings are actually briefings about how to be intelligent.

#pedantry #humor

Seriously, I think “The Situation” should really have a room on CNN.

#pedantry #tv #humor

Hey Lumber Liquidators what the hell does someone do with liquid wood?

#pedantry #humor

Taco Bell, I don’t think that’s how it works. Hanging a sign over the soda machine doesn’t make it a Tiki Bar.

#pedantry #humor