Stereo is just mono e mono.

#humor

Me: the bottom of that Florida license plate says “In Goo We Trust”

Wife: it says “In God We Trust”

Me: they’re better off putting their trust in goo. It always comes through for me.

#humor

Watching Star Trek TOS for nostalgia’s sake and realized you can hear the bridge set creaking when the crew walk around.

So you could say they are up ships creak without a battle.

#startrektos

The term pro bono implies the existence of an amateur bono.

#humor #pedantry

This tomato has big dick energy.

#meme #humor

#meme #humor

You’d have to be a boron to watch the movie “The Fifth Element”.

Boron - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

Virginia continues to keep it classy.

In reversal, Virginia school board votes to restore Confederate names to 2 schools

apnews.com

#gop #maga #racists

For some reason my macOS terminal app #Warp refuses to quit. The menu option is disabled so I always have to force quit via Activity Monitor. And then it dawned on me: it must be too legit.

#humor #dadjokes #popmusic

Getting Slurpees on May 4th. Disappointed they didn’t have special flavors like Chewbacca Cherry or C3-P-Orange.

#StarWars

Someone needs to tell the #Umbraco CMS team that when a release is only 82% done it is NOT a release candidate. It literally cannot be released in this state.

Imagine the possibilities… Even if the claims of over 1G of force don't prove to be true, just making a 1 ton shipping pallet weigh a few pounds would be transformational.

NASA Veteran’s Propellantless Propulsion Drive That Physics Says Shouldn’t Work Just Produced Enough Thrust to Overcome Earth’s Gravity - The Debrief

thedebrief.org

#tech #science

NASA is preparing to launch a giant Jiffy Pop into orbit to replenish the dwindling kettle corn supply on the #ISS

#humor

Roman.com changed their name to ro.co and now it’s boners-r-us.com.

#humor

Democrats don’t need to smuggle illegal immigrants into the US to grow their voter base. Republicans do it for them every time they take away more of our rights.

#politics #gop

The juice has expired.

O.J. Simpson, legendary football player and actor brought down by his murder trial, dies at 76

apnews.com

#humor

Seeing the sun completely eclipsed by the clouds was a life-changing moment.

#humor

I’ve got news for you: that Long Island Medium is not a real medium. She’s a large.

#humor

Talking about someone behind their back makes no sense. Behind your back is in front of you. So they’ll totally know what you’re saying about them.

#humor

Minimalism is a scam created by Big Small to sell more less.

#humor

If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”

#humor

I can't tell you how many times the “Today In History” section of apnews.com has totally discombobulated me. It takes me at least an hour to recombobulate.

#humor

Maybe we can solve this Holy Water shortage by just having the Pope bless the ocean. Bonus: we’d also solve the problem with vampires attacking people at the beach.

#humor

What’s the name of that song about girls with fat bottoms that influence earth’s rotation?

#humor

What is your favorite song about someone who weaves dreams that can get people through a bad night?

#humor